[

mood

|

bitchy

]

I'm tired.
I have cramps.
I'm pissed off at my boyfriend for reasons too numerous to count.
I'm broke.
All I want to do is go back to bed, but the dog is nagging me to take him out and I have to work later... With my boyfriend who I am seriously pissed off at.
Our friend from the cd store may or may not have been arrested last night.
I'm out of coffee filters.
My house smells like a zoo.

This is why there are 7 day waiting periods to buy a firearm..

[

mood

|

annoyed

]

I think I failed to mention this before, but over the holidays I'm working with Bryan at his store whenever I'm off from Kamikaze. Good Lord, I thought my customers were bad. Yesterday I got a taste of his. I won't bore you with the details of this one crazy lady, but I'll just skip to the part where she told me I'm dying.

After half an hour of driving the 2 of us up a wall because she's trying to get college applications out for her kid, she notices this small mole I have just below my left ear. It's been there since I was born, and I actually kinda like it there. Anyway, I had my hair all pulled back and when I turned my head I guess she noticed it.

"Oh my God!" She gasps, "Have you had that looked at?!"
"Uuuh.." I have no idea what she's talking about, "Had what looked at?"
"That mole by your ear there." She points, "I would have that removed right away if I were you."

Now, before I go any farther, let me ask you. Would you ever in a million years say such a thing to a complete stranger? Who does that?!?! Seriously.

"Well, it's been there my whole life and it hasn't moved, changed, grown or anything." I say, wondering to myself why I'm even bothering with this conversation.
"That doesn't matter, if I were you I'd go to a doctor right away. And I bet the doctor will tell you not to worry about it, so you'd better get a second opinion or just have it removed... Just for your own peace of mind, ya know?"

*blink*

"You don't have to look at me like that! I was just trying to be helpful!"

Bryan, knowing what a complete hypocondriac I am, steps in front of me. He said later that he knew even though I was blowing her off that I'd spend the rest of the day demanding he take me to the ER.. Which is funny, because that's exactly what I was thinking.

"Here are your recipts, this is your tracking number, have a nice day." He says, trying to get her out of my face.

"All I'm saying is, you never know. Whenever I see a mole I have it removed right away. Those things are.." And then she said that word.."Cancerous sometimes. And that mole of yours just looks funny to me."

ACK! That's my button. She put her big fat finger right there on my most dreaded hypocondriac button and pressed it hard. I could have possibly recovered from the whole ordeal rather quickly, but she had to go and say the C word. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm convinced that I have every kind of Cancer known to man teeming around in my body at all times. It isn't a chest-cold, it's lung cancer. it isn't PMS it's ovarian tumors. It's not just a mole, it's melanoma...

After she left, Bryan just sent me home. Mostly because I was upset, but I'm pretty sure he just didn't want to stand there all day reassuring me that he's been looking at that mole since the day we met and it has indeed remained exactly the same all these years.

On my way back into the apartment I ran into Stephanie in the hall and I whined to her about it for a little while. She agrees that anyone with any amount of social skills wouldn't do that to another person.

But, still... I'm too young for cancer, right?

[

mood

|

cheerful

]

Happy birthday to dolphingirl!!!

Love ya, sweetie.. MUAH!

xoxo

[

mood

|

cheerful

]

What a rainy yucky day. Good day for baking, however, and I think I'll do just that. I have to go out to the resturaunt supply store to and get a solids measuring cup and possibly a new rolling pin. Then we're on our way to making my first batch of homemade treats. Peanut Butter and Oatmeal. If they turn out well, and I feel like trudging all the way to the regular grocery store I may perhaps even make an attempt at the Lamb and Garlic ones.

So, I thought I was watching an old Rolling Stone performance on VH1 just now, but it turned out to be The Vines. Is that what they're called? Well, either way, last week I mistook them for Lou Reed. Might have been one of those other bands though. They're all the same, really. And if I wanted to listen to them, I'd rather go digging through my mom's old albums and listen to the originals.

I, personally, do not have health insurance.. However, the dog does. His policy came in the mail today so now he's free to go ahead and get sick. Well, $500 worth of sick and he can only be stricken with an illness covered by his PetCare policy.

I, on the other hand, am not allowed to become ill in any way shape or form. My mother has life insurance on me, so I can die, but I can not get sick. Not unless I want to take myself across the street to the animal hospital and pass myself off as Benny, but I don't know how to fake Kennel Cough all that well.

Mange, on the other hand.. Now there's one I can do. Sarcoptic and Demodectic. *scritchscritch*

Speaking of my health.. Today I had a grilled tofu sandwich on wheat bread with organic pickles, lettuce and something called veganaise which is some kind of vegan attempt at mayo. The whole thing was actually rather tasty and I think I might try a tofu burrito for lunch tomorrow. I also bought few small cartons of organic soup and two chocolate-peanut butter cups for later (one for Bryan, of course.). I've become completely addicted to shopping at Essene now, and although that's probably good for my overall diet, it's not so good for my wallet. Why is organic crap so damned expensive? You'd think it'd be cheaper since you're not paying for the extra preservatives and pesticides and shit.

I got one of their frequent shopper cards and if I spend $500 I get 10% off cookware. They've got some gorgeous terra-cotta dishes that I've been drooling over for weeks, so I justify my shopping there all the time as an attempt to get a discount on those plates. However, by the time I earn my 500 points (one for every dollar I spend) I'll be too broke to afford them, discount or no. Life really isn't fair sometimes.

I was telling my neighbor about my newfound interest in this store today. I said "It all started because I had this coupon for tofu..." and he laughed. Yeah, I guess it was kinda funny. It's not something you hear everyday. But it's true. Well, it all started when I went in there for dog treat things, but then I got a cupon for tofu and it just kinda ballooned from there. It's still sitting in my fridge (I bought the sandwich pre-made today.) waiting for me to think of something to do with it. Mayhaps I'll make tofu lasagna for dinner tomorrow night.

[

mood

|

silly

]

So, the 57 bus stops in front of my store. Usually this isn't anything worth talking about. However, today a lepurchaun got off the bus carrying a pot of gold with him and very casually walked over to the coffee shop as though there's no reason why a lepurchaun shouldn't be riding the downtown 57 bus to get coffee.

Well, of course. Why the fuck not?

Everyone on the block nearly broke their necks staring at him and looking rather puzzled. Then some guy in a pickup truck rolled down his window and yelled to me "DUDE! A fucking lepurchaun just got off the 57 bus!"

I guess he wanted some coffee...

I'm completely serious about this, too. A guy, about 4 feet tall with red hair and a red beard dressed in full leperchaun regalia, complete with the hat and short pants with white socks and bucked shoes, got off the bus carrying a pot of gold. He even had the weird nose and poked out chin. Afterwards, he was sitting at one of their outside tables with his pot sitting beside him doing a crossword puzzle.

That's how my day began.

Later in the afternoon, some people-- banging on upturned plastic garbage cans carrying a giant effigy of George Bush made of half-rotten tree branches and duct tape with a cardboard cut-out of his face at the top-- marched up and down South Street screaming something I couldn't understand. The noise from the banging of the trash-drums drowned out whatever it was they were saying.. Not that I have to try too hard to guess what it was. When you're carrying around a giant effigy of someone made of rotten wood, people pretty much get your point. I was hoping they'd set in on fire like you're supposed to do with your wodden effigy, but no such luck.

That's the problem with kids today... They've got no decent sense of commitment.

I think they were the anarchists from the bookstore on 5th. The anarchist bookstore-- That you can't walk into with a big backpack-- Because you might steal-- From the anarchists.

I feel the need to point that out everytime I mention the anarchists because, well, because it's funny. Like when some kid buys an anarchy symbol patch at Hot Topic, but pays tax on it.. Um.. Is the irony completely lost on them or what?

[

mood

|

creative

]

I think I may have discovered the identity of the laundry-room bandit yesterday on my way out to work. However, I refuse to name the suspect until there's been a full investigation into the matter. Let's just say he knows who he is and he's wanted for questioning... (This is what happens when You watch Law & Order and NYPD Blue reruns every afternoon...)

I went to Essene, the organic/vegan grocery store on the corner, and got some of the ingredients required of homemade doggie treats. Just some of the basic things that go into every batch. Today I'll get the fun stuff and try one of my recipies out. I'm hoping to have everything ready to go by Valentines Day. Once I perfect a couple of them I'm going to send them off to be tested for their nutritional value. Ya know, so I can say they have X% amount of protien and such.

If this really works out for me, I've decided I'm going to donate a portion of the profits to the shelter Benny came from.

Speaking of shelters, I have an assload of rejected biscuits and food that he doesn't seem to like that I'm going to take down to the big shelter this week. Benny's shelter is actually part of a pet supply store so they're never short on those types of things, but I'm sure the big one is.

Bryan's being really supportive of this venture of mine, which is kinda weird since it's hard to get him jazzed about anything that isn't directly related to video games. He's actually helping me hold onto my motivation. If I tell him an idea I have for a certain thing, he usually says "Oh yeah, that's great." while never averting his eyes from the alien invaders he's trying to save the world from. But now, if I say something, he thinks about it for a moment and then says "Ya know honey.. That's a really good idea. I like that.." and then we hash out various ways to complete the thought. Since I'm not getting off work until after the resturaunt supply store closes, he's actually going down there to get me some of the things I need for tonight.

Speaking of work.. Time to get in the shower...

[

mood

|

creative

]

The clock on my computer says the time is now 9:41 PM. Since I'm an idiot and all, I'll occationally look at this and say to myself "I can't believe I'm already so tired. It's only 9:30."

No, dipshit, it's almost one in the morning...

I came up with a few good treat recipies today.. Well, at least I hope they're good. I'm going to try one out tomorrow night and see what happens. Luckily there's that vegan grocery store down the street so I don't have to travel too far to get the good dog-friendly ingredients.

And there's an animal hospital right across the street here, just in case... ;P

[

mood

|

aggravated

]

Last night Benny and I were out for our evening walk when I hear him going crunch crunch on something. I look down to find he has a mouthful of chicken bones that he found on the sidewalk. Fucking chicken bones! (In case you didn't know, those are bad bad bad for dogs because they splinter and get stuck in their throat, tear shit up etc etc..) So, there I am, sitting on the sidewalk ramming my hand as far into the dog's mouth as it'll go digging out broken chicken bones. Luckily Benny's the kind of dog that'll let you do anything and not bite you, but still. He was none too pleased. I had to hold his neck with one hand so he couldn't swallow and dig around the poor dog's throat with my fingers. I kept scratching my hand on his teeth, even though he was trying very hard not to bite me while at the same time also trying very hard to chew and swallow. How he thought he was going to accomplish this is beyond me, but at least I got them out. There were a lot of them, too.. And they had indeed splintered.

I'd like to find the filthy motherfucker to dropped them there and make him eat razor blades so he knows what he could have done to my baby.

And while I'm on the subject of assholes, the bank fucked up again. The receipt from the MAC says we only have $167 in our account, which is wrong. We had over $400 last week and we haven't touched it. This is insane. Last Friday Bryan deposited money and they lost it. Yeah, I said they lost it! He tried to get $20 out of the MAC and it said insufficent funds. When he called them they had no record of his deposit. He had to go down there with the deposit slip that they gave him and the bank manager was all "Duuuuh.. I dunno what happened." Finally they found it and credited his account.. Now it's gone again. The rent check bounced because of this bank and now, if God forbid they try to cash the second one it'll bounce too.

And what pisses me off the most is that last week when he went to that very same bank to get change for his store the teller fucked up and not only gave him his $120 in change but left the $120 in cash he was supposed to give them in the envelope. So at the end of the day she would have been $120 short.. But he gave it back. He closed his store, walked back there to find the girl-- who was by the way a manager-- and gave her the money back. Now that I think about it today he should have just kept it.

This is why I hate banks. I don't feel like my money is safe at all. I'd rather keep it all in a locked box under the bed and pay my bills with money orders or cashiers checks every month. At least then if something goes wrong it'll be my own fault. No MAC cards or checks or strange people with an 8th grade education at best and crack habits fucking with my money. As much as I like computers, I don't trust them and this is why.

GAH!

On a more amusing note, while I was writing this entry the dog fell asleep on the bed and now he's snoring.. Loud.

[

mood

|

dorky

]

I'm really glad that I just nearly burned my house down... That would have been fun.

I tried to make a pot of coffee just now. I set everything up, plug it in and walk away. I go back out there after half an hour to get myself a cup of coffee, only to be accosted as soon as I opened the bedroom door by a horrible smell and find the rooms are smokey looking. The coffee pot is not on, so I assume that the outlet has finally shorted out for good and caught fire within the walls as I've feared since we moved in. The only thing that puzzles me is why does it smell like burning hamburgers in here? I know what electrical fires smell like and it ain't beef. So I go feeling along the walls to see if it's hot and I do find a warm spot... Just above the George Foreman grill. The grill sits next to the coffee maker when it's waiting to be cleaned. The coffee maker and grill both have black cords.

Guess which one I plugged in?

I'm so ridiculously abcent minded sometimes I can't stand myself. :/

[

mood

|

sick

]

Oh yeah, does anyone know where stoppard went? I dunno if I'd perhaps missed something.

The Pepsi/Coke debate has finally been settled in my house. Coke makes Emma's tummy very very unhappy but for some reason Pepsi doesn't bother her. I'll have to compare ingredients someday and try to figure out why that is. Meanwhile, I'm in a lot of pain. (That's your cue to feel sorry for me, by the way..)

Ginger Ale, however, beats them all in the race for who my insides like more.

Speaking of the soda wars, I once heard Pat O'Riley give this big speech about how he's boycotting Pepsi (Or was it Coke? Doesn't really matter.) because they chose Ludacris as a spokes person and he sets a bad example. This really pissed me off for a lot of reasons, which are as follows:

Where was he to be pissed off when Brittany Spears did some commercials? Frankly, I was more irritated by her presence than anyone else. O'Riley claims that Ludacris is evil because he objectifies women. Uuuhh.. And Brittany just teaches those little girls who worship her how to objectify themselves so it's okay? Fuck off with your concern, because we all know-- Or should know-- that you really don't care about the objectification of women. What really bothers you is that Brittany isn't a threat. She's pretty and stupid and complacient, teaching a whole generation of girls to be the same. The girls who emulate her will most likely grow up to be cowed and stupid. Slaves to their own obsessive need for makeup and hair-care products. They'll never form an opinion about you because they won't know you exist.

People like Ludacris on the other hand... Well, he's showing an entire generation of black men that they can, indeed, be successful and powerful and even *gasp* wealthy. And once they get there, they might just form an opinion about you and your ilk. Better keep them out of the public eye, huh?

Fucker.

And I'm not dismissing the fact that rap in general does indeed objectify women, glorify violence and make acting ignorant seem like a good idea. I'm just saying..

Benny always lays at my feet when I'm on the computer. I love my dog. If I didn't feel so crappy (Pun intended.. Hee Hee) I'd take him for a good long walk again like I did last night. Maybe later.

[

mood

|

amused

]

The cool thing about living in Philadelphia is that sometimes, while walking the dog at night, you might get into an argument with a man wearing a tri-corn hat and carrying a lantern for leading his tour group to your front door in search of ghosts.

And it's not considered out of the ordinary...

Watching various Ben Franklins eating lunch in Independence Park is still a favorite of mine, though.

[

mood

|

cheerful

]

I seriously haven't abandoned this journal, I swear. It's just that for the past week, even though it was working, my computer ran so slow the simple act of opening web pages took a million years and it all became so frustrating I just gave up trying to post shit in my journal and on NGO. By the time I got anywhere to type anything I'd already forgotten what I wanted to say. However, it seems to be working a little better now. Not as fast as it was before whatever it was that happened, but better than it was a week ago.

Anyway, today I marched in the Dias de Muertos parade (Day of the Dead). It was actually really interesting. My neighbor James and I helped push an altar down the street. I don't quite know who it was I was honoring, but they had run out of skeleton puppets for us to carry so instead of looking useless we latched onto someone's altar. The whole thing went down South Street to a pavillion at Headhouse square where they judged the Frida Kahlo look-alike contest-- A little girl with a painted on unibrow won-- and then listened to a Mariachi band play. Not just any Mariachi band, mind you. The premire Mariachi band of the entire Delaware Valley.

The whole thing was being televised on Univision so everyone, even the city councilman who gave a speech spoke in Spanish. I've never been so hyper-aware of my white-ness in all my life. The scant few of us who couldn't understand just payed very careful attention to the speakers to cue our reations. If they smiled, we smiled. If the crowd cheered and clapped, we did the same.

It was really beautiful and festive with all the brightly colored puppets and the giant paper skeletons that someone had to stand inside of to walk down the street. The dancing, the music.. The tequila. Those Mexicans sure know how to honor their dead.

Oh, and I got a snazzy tee-shirt out of the deal.

[

mood

|

bouncy

]

Guess who's back!
Back again.
Emma's back!
Tell some men.
Rub my back, rub my back, rub my back...
na na na...

Okay, so my computer is running at the speed of dead snails right now but at least it's working (somewhat). Something is keeping my cpu usage up to 100% and we can't seem to figure out what that something could be. If any of you computer geniuses out there have any idea be a dear and lemme know. I still really don't know what happened. I was sitting here the other day inncently playing with my journal and I got the blue screen of death. Then everything went apeshit. I seriously thought this poor machine was ruined. We had to reformat it twice before it took and because we're running so slowly that took no less than 6 hours at a time. Blah, I don't feel like reliving the whole ugly scene... I was really upset.

I have good news, though.

I GOT A DOGGIE!!!

On my way to work Tuesday I stopped into The Chic Petique (overpriced pet supply store) to torture myself by looking at all the whole grain kibble and enviromentally friendly squeaky toys. There were these two dogs in there, cutest things you ever saw. I'm petting one and the girl working there tells me that he's looking for a home. As it turns out, they run a rescue out of the store. Well, it was love at first sight and I took him home Thursday.

His name is Benny and he's 3. His previous owner was this older Irish man who was laid off from his job and then lost his work visa. He could have taken them (Benny has a brother named Buba) to Ireland with him, but the process of bringing a dog into another country is really horrible so instead he gave them to the rescue. They told me he was very sad to let them go, so I'm gonna try to get his forwarding address so I can send him a picture and let him know Benny's in a good home.

I'm not sure what kind of dog Benny is. Buba was a Cocker Spaniel/Rotwiler mix and how those two dogs managed to get it on is beyond me. Benny seems to also be a big dog/little dog mix of some kind because he has this big body and stubby legs. He comes up to about my knee but he weighs a ton. He's one of those big clumsy dogs that thinks he'll fit in your lap. He looks a lot like my very first dog when I was little and that makes me a bit sad. Spike was part German Shepard and those dogs are prone to a very ugly, painful hip disorder where the bones just seem to deteriorate. After watching him go through that up until he was finally put down I swore I'd never get another German Shepard in my life. Coincidentally, the same thing happened to Bryan's first dog so he had the same reservations. But you can't help who you fall in love with, right?

I'm tellin you, though, he's the most well behaved, laid back, friendly animal I've ever met. All he wants to do is play or cuddle. I can't sit on the couch without him curled up next to me with his head in my lap, nor can I sleep alone. When he wants to play he goes and gets his squeaky toy then drops it in my lap (ewww! it's always wet!) and just sits there looking at me with one ear up, making his sad face. Can't deny that.

The cat is trying her best to adjust. He always wants to play with her, but Princess Feline doesn't want to be bothered. As the days go by they get a little more used to eachother but I think it'll be a while before they can be left alone in a room together. It'll probably take a good swat from her before Benny figures out whose house this was first.

I'm gonna try to reinstall my camera's software so I can be obnoxious and show you all a million pictures of the new baby. ;) Benny is sitting here with his leash in his mouth, so I think it's poopy time. You don't know what love is until you've wrapped a plastic bag around your hand and picked up a big steamin' pile of crap...